Episode 438 || From The Bookshelf Files, Vol. 4
This week on From the Front Porch, it’s another episode of From The Bookshelf Files! In this episode series, Annie and The Bookshelf’s Community & Public Relations Liaison, Felicia Dilbert talk about the ups and downs of running a small business. Today, it’s all about what it looks like to approach life and business from the heart.
If you have a business-related question you’d like Annie and Felicia to explore in a future episode of From The Bookshelf Files, please email Felicia here.
Click here to schedule a chat with Felicia about heart-centered leadership.
Felicia Dilbert is the author of Beautiful Healing, Volume 1-Seven Love Letters for the Truth Seeker’s Soul, and The Beautiful Healing Journal. You can purchase both books from The Bookshelf, in the store or online:
Find leadership lessons Felicia refers to from Marshall Ochs, Pastor of Red Hills Church click here.
To learn more about Annie’s Business Coach, Emily Freeman, click here.
From the Front Porch is a weekly podcast production of The Bookshelf, an independent bookstore in South Georgia. You can follow The Bookshelf’s daily happenings on Instagram at @bookshelftville, and all the books from today’s episode can be purchased online through our store website, www.bookshelfthomasville.com.
A full transcript of today’s episode can be found below.
Special thanks to Dylan and his team at Studio D Podcast Production for sound and editing and for our theme music, which sets the perfect warm and friendly tone for our Thursday conversations.
This week, Annie is reading Holy Unhappiness by Amanda Held Opelt. Felicia is reading Congratulations, The Best is Over! by R. Eric Thomas.
If you liked what you heard in today’s episode, tell us by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. You can also support us on Patreon, where you can access bonus content, monthly live Porch Visits with Annie, our monthly live Patreon Book Club with Bookshelf staffers, Conquer a Classic episodes with Hunter, and more. Just go to patreon.com/fromthefrontporch.
We’re so grateful for you, and we look forward to meeting back here next week.
Our Executive Producers are...Ashley Ferrell, Cammy Tidwell, Chanta Combs, Chantalle C, Kate O’Connell, Kristin May, Laurie Johnson, Linda Lee Drozt, Martha, Nicole Marsee, Stacy Laue, Stephanie Dean, Susan Hulings, and Wendi Jenkins.
Transcript:
[squeaky porch swing] Welcome to From the Front Porch, a conversational podcast about books, small business, and life in the South. [music plays out]
“‘It’s that very simple model,’ Salati said, whispering to avoid disturbing his studio mates. ‘Surround yourself with the best people you can, and rise to the occasion.’”
- Elizabeth A. Harris for the New York Times
[as music fades out] I’m Annie Jones, owner of The Bookshelf, an independent bookstore in beautiful downtown Thomasville, Georgia, and this week, we’re back with the fourth episode of our 2023 business-minded series, From the Bookshelf Files. I’m joined in conversation by Bookshelf community and public relations liaison, entrepreneur, and author Felicia Dilbert. Throughout this year, you’ve heard us talk more about the business-y side of The Bookshelf: our store’s growth and the ups and downs of small business ownership; what life looks like at The Bookshelf and how it’s changed over the years, and how ideas like Reader Retreats and Shelf Subscriptions come to life.
Today, we’re talking about what it looks like to approach life and business from the heart. Before we begin, don’t forget: One of the best ways to grow From the Front Porch is by word of mouth, and your reviews of the show are so helpful for that. Here’s one of my favorite recent reviews, from IndianaReader21:
Cozy Bookish Podcast This is my favorite podcast! Annie gives the BEST recommendations- she was my #1 recommendation source for books last year! Listening to this podcast makes me feel like I am drinking a cup of tea with a friend and always leaves me with a smile.
Thank you so much for this thoughtful review! And if you haven’t left a review of the show yet, all you have to do is open up the Podcast App on your phone, look for From the Front Porch, scroll down until you see ‘Write a Review’ and tell us what you think. Your reviews really do help us grow the show and, as a result, grow our small brick-and-mortar business. Thank you!
[00:02:13] Now back to the show! Back in January, we launched our From The Bookshelf File series. You can go back and listen to episodes 407, four, 15, and 424. If you want to hear me talk with Felicia about The Bookshelf Origin Story, Small Business Woes and Creativity in Business. This week, Felicia is back to discuss the connection between emotional intelligence and leadership. Hi, Felicia.
Felicia Dilbert [00:02:39] Hi, Annie.
Annie Jones [00:02:41] Welcome back.
Felicia Dilbert [00:02:42] Thank you so much. Glad to be here.
Annie Jones [00:02:44] So let's get started.
Felicia Dilbert [00:02:46] I just have to say, yesterday at the store, Erin's ideas, also our fun way of which book do we like the most. I thought that was so fun. It's like a metaphor to how the energy is at the store. Yeah. And it encapsulates how we look out for each other, how we have fun, how we dive in when a moment's notice or whatnot, to just be a part and have a good time, all in the unified vision of books.
Annie Jones [00:03:15] Yeah, absolutely. I think that's such a great point. It was really the perfect way to kind of kick off today's conversation is by-- yeah, yesterday in the store Erin recording an Instagram video, a reel, where we kind of talked about our new release books and did like a little conga line to celebrate our Eric Thomas's new book. And I love it for so many reasons. I loved that idea for so many reasons. First of all, because Erin is filling in for Caroline. Caroline was out. And so it just goes to show that the team pitches in and helps each other because we want people to be able to go on vacation. And it just it was such a fun little encapsulation of the teamwork that makes The Bookshelf possible.
Felicia Dilbert [00:03:57] Absolutely. And that comes from the culture that you have set an example for, Annie, and that you you have-- I'm using my words carefully because it's really a special combination of your thoughtfulness, but also the way that you exude leadership at the store and your intentionality irregardless of if you're having a day that's packed with a lot of different things or a lot of phone calls or it's a day to pay bills and the door is closed for the purpose of taking care of the matters at hand. That kind of stuff, moments notice jumping in, having fun, seeds have been planted along the way for that kind of energy to come forth. I doesn't just happen.
Annie Jones [00:04:43] I hope so.
Felicia Dilbert [00:04:44] Yeah. And it was play. It was like, yay, afternoon fun. I remember you saying this is a pep rally.
Annie Jones [00:04:50] Yeah, it felt like a pep rally. Only better, honestly.
Felicia Dilbert [00:04:55] Absolutely. Okay, so it's personal and it's business. So when you set out to start, when you bought the business and got into the nitty gritty of hiring and starting out with some people as the team has grown-- I know you care. You care about people. It's evident. You love books, but you love people even more irregardless of what day it might be. That's right. And so, I just wanted to know how have you navigated that with all of the different things that come along with new people, new hearts, new joys in employees, but also the new ones that can come along with that? And how has it been personal in business for you in that aspect?
Annie Jones [00:05:40] That phrase it's personal and it's business of course reminds me of You've Got Mail and there's a famous scene from that movie where Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are almost debating. And I think Meg Ryan character, Kathleen Kelly, says something like, "Whatever a business is, it ought to begin by being personal. And I love that. And yet I also cringe a little bit at it because I think you and I have talked about this in various settings over the last year, but I also am a really boundary person. And so any time the waters start to get a little muddy, I get nervous because I really want to make sure that The Bookshelf is a healthy work environment. And I want us to all be friendly with one another, but I also know that I'm the boss and there are boundaries with that. And so any time we start talking about personal and business, I get a little sweaty because I'm trying so hard to hold both. And I love how you worded it. It's personal and it's business. It's both. It's not one or the other. It's both. And The Bookshelf is personal because people make it up. And we've talked about this a lot, especially earlier this year. We did our beautiful trailer with Orange out of Tallahassee. And one of the things we talked about on that video was that The Bookshelf is who she is because of the people who run it, because of the people who shop there and because of the people behind the scenes, like my family or all of your families, all of the staff's families who kind of pitch in and help ensure we all can go to work every day.
[00:07:25] The Bookshelf is, by its very nature, very personal. It's personal because it's a small business. It's personal because it's my livelihood. So for me it's very personal, but it's also personal because without people The Bookshelf doesn't exist. And we talk a lot about we're not robots here behind the scenes. I always want it for our online customers especially to know, hey, Erin is processing every single order. Keila is packaging every single order. That's not a robot behind the scenes doing that. That's not a machine doing that. That's a person. And so as the team has grown, it has really been a room for growth for me personally as well, because managing a team of two is very different from managing a team of 10. And I learned some hard lessons along the way. I started The Bookshelf when I was 27. The only thing I'd ever managed was a newspaper staff like for my college newspaper. And so it was really different to now be running a business and to manage a team, and a team of one is very different from a team of of 10. And it's been important for me to navigate the different personalities.
[00:08:40] Because if you're running a healthy business, your team is not all going to be people that look like you. It's going to be people who think differently from you and who process things differently from you, who have different strengths and weaknesses from you. And that's going to present some challenges occasionally. But I think the challenges are worth it. I think the ultimate goal is worth any challenges you might face. So it's been an interesting few years, especially post-pandemic. That's really when our team grew the most. And I am so proud of the team we've cultivated and I'm so grateful for the different members we've added over the years and the people who work here previously who played such an important role in the business. But certainly managing a team of two is very different from a team of 10, and that has required change and growth on my part too.
Felicia Dilbert [00:09:25] Absolutely. And I've seen that in myself. I've seen that in the staff. That maturation piece is really key. It makes me think about the process in a garden from seed to flower and how the seed is planted and there's photosynthesis-- I love that word. And the rain water it if it's outside and all of that. But then before it flowers, it's a bud. I'm kind of skipping some parts in there. If any gardeners are listening [inaudible]. But to me it's like the promise of the flower is coming. And so that's been for me to think about what I stepped into about a year ago at The Bookshelf. It's fun. It's like wonder. And so it pulled me in for inspiration reasons and just, wow, this is great. But then the tension that comes along with that growth and going around a new mountain with learning and working with a team, which I have definitely come a long way with that.
Annie Jones [00:10:31] And me too, right? I think a leader or an owner really especially if you're somebody like me or my personality type, it's a real (as you so kindly put it) maturation process to delegate and to trust people with the things that maybe you think you do pretty well but a leader can't do everything. Nobody can do everything. You mention you coming on board about a year ago. Caroline came on board around the same time as you, and that was a risk-- not you and Caroline, but adding two new team members in two new different roles for the store was risky and a little financially scary. And it has been, I'm pleased to say, well worth the risk. What you and Caroline have brought to the table has been so valuable. But that was another example of having to trust that, okay, we're going to find the money to add these two people on the team. We're going to bring them on board. And then hopefully it'll reap benefits and produce dividends. But it was scary there for a minute and stressful. I think Jordan and I have talked about this before, even in his own work, how really whenever you hire somebody or whenever you start a new job, it's really about three months before everybody gets used to each other and everybody realizes, okay, what does this person bring to the table? What's the best use of their time? And then for a person coming into a new role, I think it takes about three months to kind of get your feet wet and figure stuff out. So you have to trust that good things take time. And I think your gardening analogy is a good example of that.
Felicia Dilbert [00:12:08] I can only imagine with hiring people, multiple people, and then the hope that after that three months we get to really see all things working together for the good for the employee and for the business. And I know you and I have had a unique experience with-- like you mentioned little bit earlier, when hiring new people, everybody has a different family of origin, learning styles and all. And coming into this opportunity I knew about the way that I think and the neuro-diverse aspect of what makes Felicia. And I really, really appreciated how you embrace that in the interview. It's not easy to talk about that. And some may say that's unprofessional, that's sharing too much information, but I'm at a point in my life which I have seen you all beautifully work to embrace. And not that that's a bad thing, but isn't that real life? In a book where there's a neat character, there's so much nuance.
Annie Jones [00:13:10] Yes.
Felicia Dilbert [00:13:11] That's what makes it beautiful, or interesting, or memorable. But that's not what I'm trying to say, like, I'm so beautiful. I don't always read real deep. A lot of listeners probably notice I don't have a lot of like deep reading suggestions, and I'm very okay with that. But I like to read about reading and I really like listening to all of you so eloquently chatter about different things. But the point I'm trying to make is just that I appreciate you kind of holding my hand through that and then making that distinction with now Caroline's my manager direct report. And I think a bit back to that gardening. I'm growing a garden, so this is why I'm kind of...
Annie Jones [00:14:00] Oh, yeah you are.
Felicia Dilbert [00:14:02] But like that state, it helps. It helps survive, grow and hold up and support. Not that it wasn't happening before, but capacity purposes for a business can only do so much.
Annie Jones [00:14:15] That's right. And you want to provide every team member with the tools they need to flourish. And you talked about coming on board and every team member has a different family of origin or a different personality type or what have you. And I do think that is one thing to remember about having a business that's full of people, is that means there are going to be lots of different personality types, lots of different growing pains. Or for me, I know I've addressed this before on the podcast, but I'm an Enneagram five, I'm an INTJ, the stereotype of that type of person is that we'd be content holed up in our lab. And there are certainly days when I love being holed up in my office with the door closed, doing whatever I need to do. But I have also learned that getting to know the staff and getting to know the different ways that they learn, the different ways that they produce good work, the different things that they bring to the table, I can't be a robot about those things. I have to be in tune to people's moods, the things that they're bringing to work every day. Because, again, we're not robots. And so people come to work and they've had a bad day or they've had trouble at school drop off. The other day, I literally felt like I had woken up on the wrong side of the bed. And we all come to work with those things. I think I've really had to learn that team building and team creation requires a lot of patience and a lot of open handed grace. We're not always going to say the right thing, do the right thing, but we have to have grace for each other and get used to one another and how we think differently. And the best teams, I think, have a variety of people who do think differently. And I think that leads to growth.
Felicia Dilbert [00:16:07] Absolutely. I like how you put that. So, so, so good. I think to something that really stood out to me with working as a team. I don't wake up in the morning and say my way is the highway. I don't. I truly don't. But then Louis reminds me of often, that's kind of how I might navigate life.
Annie Jones [00:16:32] The goodness for our partners who help us.
Felicia Dilbert [00:16:35] Oh, yeah, I love my Louis. But with that being said, it's something really cool about realizing, like for me, I've been able to realize that there's nothing wrong with being a neuro-diverse thinker, ADHD. There's just nothing wrong with. What I've seen at the store, though, is the how to navigate that and how that can be genius. I haven't seen that in other places before. I've seen it in my own business. Creativity, I love it, but it's great to work with people. You don't have to go at it all alone, even if that's all that you know.
Annie Jones [00:17:14] Yeah, that's such a good point. Because you did come and you do work as an entrepreneur and you run your own business. And to come on board at The Bookshelf was probably very different, to adjust to a group of people. But I love the example you and I have talked about in-store where you and Olivia got to work the Juneteenth event together. And at The Bookshelf, not every staffer always works-- like Olivia works on the floor with a lot of the floor staff. You work upstairs with a lot of the behind the scenes staff, the marketing staff. And you and Olivia working together was a different kind of pairing, and I think it was such a valuable way to grow your creativity, both of you to get to work together and to get a problem solved together. Because that's the reality of I'm sure this is true in big business as well as small business. But in small business, there's a lot of problems, and there's a lot of quick on your feet thinking. And I am convinced, even though, yes, INTJ love being holed up in my metaphorical lab, I think it is better when we problem-solve together. And getting to witness staffers do that, getting to witness you and Olivia do that, getting to witness Erin and Keila working together, or Erin and Caroline working together or Kyndall and Esme on the floor, it is such a privilege and an honor to get to watch people troubleshoot together. And I think we reach better solutions that way.
Felicia Dilbert [00:18:50] Yeah, we definitely bonded really fast in that experience. And one of the things I really honor and appreciate about that is that I heard that quote one time, when you're going through something or you're challenged, it's just like if you imagine a toothpaste tube being squeezed. When it's pressure, whatever's in it is going to come out. And so she and I were able to have each other's back. But if we weren't in that together, we wouldn't have been able to experience how we had each other's back in a time of challenge. And you need to think on your feet. So that's been refreshing. And then when you talk about your personality and you and INTJ, and I think I'm an EN-- I don't know.
Annie Jones [00:19:34] Well, Jordan's my little Myers-Briggs expert. I'm an INTJ. I said, "Do you know what's Felicia 's?" Because you and I talked yesterday and I said, I need to look back and see if it's on-- because we do ask on The Bookshelf job application. It's optional and it's no pressure. But he does have a guess. He thought you might be an ENFJ.
Felicia Dilbert [00:19:54] That's what it is. That's it. Yeah.
Annie Jones [00:19:57] He's pretty good at guessing.
Felicia Dilbert [00:19:59] Yeah, I did take a test for the application. But what I love is how you incorporate Enneagram and Myers-Briggs. I think it's cool, and I think I might look into it.
Annie Jones [00:20:15] Yeah. It's helpful.
Felicia Dilbert [00:20:17] Yeah. I'm totally opposite, which is not a big deal, right? This is like just [inaudible] people. But hey, Annie, I don't really know boundaries. I've learned.. Enmeshment is not a word I care for, but I know that life. So rushing in, hugs. I don't mean any harm, but some people don't like hugs. I started asking after the pandemic because I'm a hugger. I ask folks when I see them. [Inaudible] because I'm like, well, they love the south. They probably can't wait for a hug, right?
Annie Jones [00:20:56] Yeah.
Felicia Dilbert [00:20:59] But I rush in, sunshine and roses. I can get lost outside talking to sweet Mr. Wayne over by Grass Roots. He's from [inaudible]. But then to think about streamlining and goals and all that has been so helpful. I've gotten a lot of goals accomplished professionally and personally, so just want to speak to that, that it's a great thing. And seeing how Olivia navigates her days, her checklists too.
Annie Jones [00:21:28] That's the beauty of it, is I don't want a staff full of ENFJs. That would not be helpful. I want a staff. And you and I have talked about this specifically. I am a hugger, depending on who's asking. But I like having a person on staff, especially the community and public relations liaison, to be gifted at relationship, and at stopping and talking to Mr. Wayne. Whereas, sometimes I think nobody talks to me on the street because I am-- oh, Ashley at the market was like, "Man, I don't get any free stuff because Annie is just a one track mind walking ahead of me down the hallway at market." And that is I am a one track mind. And so I find it extremely valuable to have a team full of Olivia's who keep checklists, but also Felicia's who are out on the sidewalk talking to Mr. Wayne. Both of those things are really important. And 10 years ago I didn't have the luxury of having all of those types of team members.
[00:22:32] The beauty of finally being at a financial point where we could grow our team meant, okay, now we can start to bring in people who have gifts that we haven't been able to hire for before. And so, I think Myers-Briggs, I think Enneagram, my business coach recently told me about Working Genius. You got an email about it yesterday because I want the staff to take it. And part of the reason I am finding that particular thing to be so valuable is I'm able to say, okay, there's some holes or maybe we don't have holes. But maybe I need to tap into some people's strengths and working geniuses that I haven't tapped into quite yet. Again, goes back to my own personality type, but I find learning about other people and figuring them out like the beautiful puzzles they are to be really rewarding and I hope beneficial for The Bookshelf as a whole.
Felicia Dilbert [00:23:25] Absolutely. I will never forget when I first started and just the idea of having the right people on the bus in the right place. And you've [inaudible] that your coach told you about that, I think.
Annie Jones [00:23:36] Yes, she was who taught me that phrase. I'm sure it is a business phrase that other business people have heard many times before. But she really taught me how people on the right seat on the bus. And one of the things that sounded harsh at first to even my own pre-boundary logical ears, she told me, "Make sure you're hiring for The Bookshelf, not for the person." And I was like, "Oh, but I hire people that I like." If I like a person and they've applied and they had a good interview, I want to hire them. But she made a big difference, I think, in the life of The Bookshelf. She really made me evaluate what does The Bookshelf need. And by asking myself what The Bookshelf needs, then when I hire, I can put the right person in the right seat on the bus. If I hire for the person I'm trying to get them to fit, I may stick them in the wrong seat just because I liked them and I want to keep them. And it was a mental shift for me because, again, it sounded harsh to be like hire for The Bookshelf, not for the person. But the reality is it's better long term for staff if I hire for The Bookshelf. And I have a specific role, a specific seat that they sit in and can fill. And so that was more business coach advice that I have found really helpful over the last couple years.
Felicia Dilbert [00:24:57] That's awesome. And to camp out there for a second, I like how you said "I hire people I like." That is real. I know your listeners-- I mean, you've got some of the sweetest people and they get it. Of course, who doesn't hire if they don't like... I get it. Especially small business. [Inaudible] However, I just felt like that needs to just be amplified because that's one of those things that sometimes that most people will say, but it's real. It's real.
Annie Jones [00:25:29] Yeah, I was hiring people I like, and you're right, there's nothing wrong with that. But it's personal and it's business. So the business piece was my business coach asking me, but what does The Bookshelf need? And me sitting down and making a list of the roles that I really thought The Bookshelf needed and then figuring out, can this person I like sit in the seat? And if not, it's not a kindness to them to put them there. But if they can sit there, that is a kindness for the store and for the person. Yeah, it's personal and it's business. You brought that to my attention yesterday, and I just really like that it's both.
Felicia Dilbert [00:26:04] Yeah. And I think that this is a neat place too to encourage anybody that's thinking what in the world? It's not personal, it's business. Because it can be tough to wrap your mind around it if that's not your personality or if you consider yourself type A. But even though Annie, may say, "I'm really a people person, I'm heart centered," that still does open the door for that personal piece.
Annie Jones [00:26:30] Yeah.
Felicia Dilbert [00:26:31] So it's in every human I believe. It's that emotional part of us. Maybe we haven't tapped into it.
Annie Jones [00:26:37] You're exactly right. And sometimes the stories we tell ourselves aren't always 100 percent true, right? So another thing that my business coach kind of brought up in a fairly recent conversation we were having, is we were talking about team management and team building. And she said something like, oh, well, Annie, you're a heart leader. And I was like, excuse me, what? I'm a INTJ robot. I'm not a heart leader. And I was so truly kind of taken aback by that. And it was such a kindness to have someone else speak a new story to you. And so for me to realize, oh, I can be a boundary introverted person and still care about people, it's not one or the other. And at The Bookshelf, as you have so kindly pointed out, I really do care about people. And there would be a one part of me that would kind of like push back a little on this, but you said you like people more than you like books. I thought about it, and you're right. I do like people more than I like books. I love books. I love them so much, but I love people. I love the customers who come into The Bookshelf. That's why I do it or I would just sit at home and read. I love people. I love people who come in the store. I love the people who work at the store very much. I love seeing their gifts and abilities come to light. And so I think it's important. Sometimes stories we tell ourselves are accurate, and sometimes they need a little tweaking. And my business coach and you, I think it is helpful to hear other people's perspectives on those things.
Felicia Dilbert [00:28:18] Absolutely. And I've seen you on a Saturday when the store is busy.
Annie Jones [00:28:21] I love a Saturday.
Felicia Dilbert [00:28:24] Yeah. Saturdays love you too. Because it's like folks get to see their owner and I can tell that gives you life and joy. And I think I love that you still do that, and I hope you always will, because I think that working in the store and connecting with the customers helps to break up perhaps all the other am I being a successful staff that comes with any entrepreneur.
Annie Jones [00:28:48] That's right. You're exactly right. I don't know what the example would be for another type of business owner, but for me, there's the phrase if you want your business to grow, you have to work on your business, not in your business. And I do think that's true. The more The Bookshelf has grown, the less possible it is for me to always be on the floor of the store because somebody's got to pay the bills. Somebody has to think big picture and set vision. And it's taken me a long time to be okay with that because I love working in the store. I love being on the floor of The Bookshelf. But if I'm on the floor of The Bookshelf all the time Esme doesn't get to do her job beautifully, Kyndall doesn't get to do her job beautifully. So if I want Esme and Kyndall to do their jobs, I need to go do mine, pay bills, big picture stuff, record a podcasts, whatever. But every so often work a Saturday or come down on the floor and record a silly Instagram reel because that's why I love what I do. So definitely work on your business, but occasionally, yes, still work in your business.
Felicia Dilbert [00:29:54] Absolutely. And people can see that and feel that. It's that type of stuff from the leader to driving the bus, to embody and feel. When you feel that, even if you're not announcing, hey, I'm working on a story that I'm just building. And then that is what trickles down. And I think that our pastor was teaching something on Sunday about how where fathers can model behavior in their homes. And if a dad wants the kid to chill out on the cell phone, he doesn't need to be sitting there with his cell phone saying, "Get off your phone." And our example of the culture. How to set that culture that the leader is doing what they're doing. Of course, we all have grace, so nobody's expecting protection. But that energy behavior thought process, like you mentioned in your July list, I thought that was amazing. But the intentionality to be real about, okay, this is what I say and so how am I embodying that and how do I want to embody that as I continue to live out this journey? And it's okay if it's like I want to really embody that even more. Or I did that in this moment and I appreciate my growth. I acknowledge that this is within me. I can do tough things.
Annie Jones [00:31:15] Yeah, absolutely. One thing that comes to mind as we're kind of talking about some personality stuff and how growing a team has really grown me as a person, I have changed a lot over the last 10 years. A 37 year old is very different from a 27 year old. And the things I've learned in the last ten years make me feel 87 years old. But one of my favorite anecdotes is when Jordan's grandfather met my family for the first time. He'd already met me. And I don't know if I've told this story on the podcast before. I tell it a lot in my real life because I think it explains a lot. But my grandfather, now grandfather-in-law met my parents. And later he said he said, "Well, I see now that Annie gets her enthusiasm from her mother and her sobriety from her father." First of all, we laugh at that all the time. But honestly, it's true. So there's a part of me that loves being down on the floor, recording a funny Instagram story or interacting with customers. And then there's a quieter part of me that loves being in my office, turning on some music and quietly checking a ton of things off a list. And I think most days that combination is really good for running The Bookshelf. There are hard moments and there are hard lessons I've had to learn about keeping both of those aspects of my personality in check. But I do think thanks to Chris and Susie, I do have both of those aspects of my personality that I think help help run The Bookshelf.
Felicia Dilbert [00:32:54] Absolutely. And then to what I've observed, when your tank is full, when you've done the things that feed you and give you joy-- like an introvert, they pull away and they charge up. Then you have that capacity to pour out, even though I had a feeling that the 10 year anniversary day was definitely like you pull in into some reserve of prayer and like, listen, I need to power through this thing. But it was fun. It was so joyous.
Annie Jones [00:33:23] You're right. It was so joyous that I was able to have the energy. Now, the next day I was a little tired.
Felicia Dilbert [00:33:28] Yeah, I can imagine. And when you are, can you let yourself rest?
Annie Jones [00:33:35] Yes. So you have talked about this before, I think on previous episodes. So I work from home on Wednesdays and then I have off on Mondays. And I was just telling Jordan yesterday was a really good day at work. We recorded that fun Instagram reel. You and I had a productive meeting about this podcast episode. Olivia and I had a meeting. It was a Good Day. I got home exhausted because that was a people heavy day. And so Monday I played with my dog. I read a book. And Monday was how I was able to do Tuesday. And now recording a podcast, and then after we're done, I have an appointment. But other than that, my day is a little bit freer. Wednesday will prepare me and help me have the energy for Thursday. So it's about establishing a rhythm that works for me.
Felicia Dilbert [00:34:25] Absolutely. And I celebrate the boundary of whatever that looks like and how you achieved and came to that place. Because as the owner of a bookstore, I can only imagine people that are listening, that are busy and own different things, direct different things, are leaders in their own way. How did you get to a place where you were able to give yourself that type of permission, Annie.
Annie Jones [00:34:47] Well, number one, business coaching. So my business coach pre-pandemic was who encouraged me to work one day a week from home, which was something I had never thought was possible and it wouldn't have been possible were not for the growth of the team. So having an amazing manager like Olivia enabled me-- of course the moment I decided to work one day a week from home, truly the pandemic hit. I made that decision for 2020 and then the pandemic happened.
Annie Jones [00:35:16] So I did not work from home very much, weirdly, during 2020 because Oliver and I were just packaging orders all the time. But when 2021 rolled around, I could implement that idea that my business coach had kind of instilled in me. And I really had to get over the idea that that was selfish. There was a part of me that really felt guilty, like I wasn't being a good member of the team if I worked from home. And I really had to shift my brain to realize it is for the betterment of the team that I work one day a week from home. It allows me to be productive. It allows me to be creative, which that's what The Bookshelf staff needs me to be. They need me to be creative and big picture oriented. And I can only do that if I'm in my sweet spot, which for me happens to be at my house. And so, thanks to business coaching and thanks to staff. Setting those boundaries and setting those rhythms has been possible and also working with a therapist to not feel guilty about those things has also been helpful.
Felicia Dilbert [00:36:18] Absolutely. And therapy is great. No shame for therapy. Celebrate therapy [inaudible]. I announce too when i see my therapist, "I went to see my therapist today."
Annie Jones [00:36:30] Yeah, just spread the word. We should evangelize it as much as possible.
Felicia Dilbert [00:36:33] And I just had an aha, I'm going to invite you to coffee because when I see you on Tuesdays, I'm just like, "Annie!" and I know people that-- I can only imagine, but I'm sure there's so many on Instagram that follow and I bet they want Annie's time too, but they can't. So they plug in-- which I completely encourage you all to check out Annie's five star...
Annie Jones [00:37:01] Thank you. Yes. Five-Star Reads That has been such a fun project this year. And that has been one place where I've loved connecting with people and talking about books. And you mentioned seeing you on a Tuesday or something like that. The good news is I'm ready for that energy because I had Monday off. A sweet customer, I think her name's Hillary, I don't know if she's a listener, but she's a long distance customer. And I was getting into my car in Thomasville like getting ready to take Sam out. And husband and wife I could see them looking, but I couldn't tell they were looking at me or looking at Subway. I was parked near Subway here in town. So I just got in my car and started plugging my phone so I could listen to music or whatever. And they started getting closer. And I was like, huh, not sure what's happening here. Anyways, finally, I rolled down my window like, "Hi, can I help you?" I hope that's what I said. I don't really remember. She was like, "Are you Annie?" And I said, "Oh my gosh, yes." And it was so cute. And then she was a long distance customer who was in town and it was delightful. So that's the thing I want people to know about introverts, because I think there's some assumptions. I think there are assumptions about extroverts too, as somebody who's married to one. But I really loved connecting with Hillary right then. It made me smile. I had a very funny story to tell Jordan later. And I told Hillary and her husband, I said, "Oh, I'm on my way to take the dog out." And she was like, "Sam Malone?" And I just got a kick out of that, that she knew. And so, I'm so glad. Probably if I had to guess, Hillary's an extrovert or she's a very brave introvert. But by Hillary being herself, she made me feel comfortable and funny, and we had a great connecting moment. And I think some people assume, oh, introverts don't want that, but we totally do. We may be tired later, but we totally do.
Felicia Dilbert [00:38:53] Absolutely. And, of course, she knew about Sam Malone.
Annie Jones [00:38:58] He is Internet famous on a very niche corner of the internet...
Felicia Dilbert [00:39:05] It's fine. It's what we needed. The Bookshelf is awesome and you are a delight. But Sam has given us something you didn't know we needed.
Annie Jones [00:39:16] Yes, same for me too.
Felicia Dilbert [00:39:18] I remember when I first met you and I'm, like, this lady does not know she's a celebrity.
Annie Jones [00:39:24] I do not like that word.
Felicia Dilbert [00:39:28] [Inaudible] you were like, I just don't think about it. There's thousands of people, maybe I sound like I've gotten so used to it, I'm such a pro, but no. I'm just connected with you, Annie. So it's easy to talk to you. But I just imagine we're just talking. You make it all so easy.
Annie Jones [00:39:45] Thank you. It's hard, but thank you.
Felicia Dilbert [00:39:47] You're welcome. The other piece that I just think is so cool to mention is that I've been able to see all of the team kind of embrace sisterhood. And I don't say that just because I'm a black woman, I'm a sister. Because sometimes people have their boundaries. And like I said, I am probably one of the most like, hey, we're friends instantly. That's probably because I have other stuff when I didn't have a bunch of friends, so maybe that's just rolling over. But I've seen the staff really in their own way be able to embrace all of that extra energy in a way that isn't-- not that I just came in with just being such an anomaly, but it's different. And work with different people and different energy. Like everybody has the capacity and has shown, hey, this is my coworker. This also can be my sister. This can be somebody that [inaudible] and then that energy translates to other team members. And I've seen people see each other in a way that maybe they hadn't, and the playfulness really just bubbles up. And it's super special.
Annie Jones [00:41:07] You're absolutely right. It goes back to what you and I talked about at the top of the episode, which is these things take time. And so when you grow a team from 3 to 10, or 2 to 10, there's going to be some growing pains there. We also have to be willing to occasionally be uncomfortable because when we start adding all different personalities to the team, it's not just Felicia's personality, it's everybody's personality. My personality is quirky. Once we start adding all of these personalities to the team, I think what it really takes is a capacity for discomfort and a willingness to show grace to each other and to get to know each other and to problem solve together, or to sit in a staff meeting together. I think staff meetings and we keep using this example of Erin's fun Instagram reel that she recorded yesterday. But I thought everybody's personalities were so evident in that video. And I'll mention Esme for just a moment, because Esme specifically chooses, she prefers to be in store at The Bookshelf. And she made that clear in her interview. She didn't want to be on social media all the time. And she is excellent at being the face of The Bookshelf to the Thomasville clientele.
[00:42:18] She is our Monday through Friday staffer. She is at the store 40 hours a week like she is who you see. That was fine. I didn't need her to be on social media. I wanted her to be where she was most comfortable. But as a result, when she does show up on social media, she is hilarious and funny and authentically herself. And so, I think we have to be willing to let people be who they are to meet them where they are. And getting to watch staffers be themselves, whether it's on social media or privately, like in a staff meeting where-- this was Jordan Jones who suggested this, where we go around and we each share a fun fact. And people's personalities are very evident in their fun fact, in the pride with which they deliver their fun fact. Everybody knows Olivia is going to deliver a science fun fact. Everybody knows it's going to be about space. Everybody knows Keila is going to be a little bit funny, like it's going to have a twist at the end. And then that is getting to see and to witness everybody's personalities and everybody's personalities make The Bookshelf better. Again, The Bookshelf would not be The Bookshelf if it were just INTJ Annie all the time. It has to be everybody.
Felicia Dilbert [00:43:36] Absolutely. And going back to the analogy from our cha-cha fun time yesterday, really I think we all just needed that break. And even holding space for anybody that might have felt off guard. We jumped in. And that's the thing I love. Holiday when it gets busy, folks are ready to jump in. I remember you mentioned at one of the staff meetings around the holiday, if you have any thing you need to talk to your coworker about, figure that stuff out because holiday you're going to have to work next to that person wrapping gifts.
Annie Jones [00:44:18] Yes. You're going to be real close real quick.
Felicia Dilbert [00:44:21] You're going to have to nip that in the bud.
Annie Jones [00:44:24] Yes. It's like passing the peace to church. You better figure your stuff out. But I think it also has to do-- we talk about yesterday and y'all go watch the Instagram reel. It was very funny. But naturally, do I like dancing in front of a video camera? No, I do not. But can I when I know I'm surrounded by safe people in a safe place where we can be silly together? Yes. So I think that's what I want The Bookshelf to be safe for customers, but also safe and fun for staff so they can fully be themselves.
Felicia Dilbert [00:44:56] Absolutely. And, listen, I just had a download. Okay. So the unified joy yesterday had to do with the fact that we all love books, The Bookshelf, fun, and we had the opportunity to forget about any other stuff. All that energy drove away our inhibition. And I remember my first Reader Retreat was like the third day of my job. And one of the things that was just so beautiful was to see and feel the energy of all these different women that traveled from all over to come together and completely forget-- for such a time that they had that weekend, forget about everything. But I'm having fun. I'm in my happy spot, and just the immense joy enough to be able to drive away any anxiety or nervousness that can come up in our human way. And that is so beautiful. And I feel, Annie, that has been the experience that I've been able to-- the path that I have worked on since I started has been filled with surprise of joy and kind of having a chance for my heart to defrost from grief, which it was talking and speaking of grief narrative way more than I realized. But that heaviness. Being around play and joy and the wonder of people that love books, it just really felt fun. Like my own little creative house. I encourage anyone listening that playfulness and tapping into that wonder, it's not just that you're all of a sudden you need to be in a silly hat or whatever. It's freeing, and it can open up a lot of extra intentionality to embrace this. It's personal and it can be business too.
Annie Jones [00:47:10] Oh, that's perfect. What a perfect way to end. Thank you, Felicia.
Felicia Dilbert [00:47:13] Thank you. Thank you. And I just want to add one other thing. I'll put a link in the notes, but if anybody is curious about tapping more into that emotional intelligence or creativity, I invite you to take a look at the link. I'm offering something special. I think you'll have fun.
Annie Jones [00:47:27] Perfect. Thank you, Felicia.
Felicia Dilbert [00:47:29] Thank you, Annie.
Annie Jones [00:47:30] This week. I'm reading Holy Unhappiness by Amanda Held Opelt. Felicia, what are you reading this week?
Felicia Dilbert [00:47:37] This week I'm reading Here For It by R. Eric Thomas.
Annie Jones: From the Front Porch is a weekly podcast production of The Bookshelf, an independent bookstore in Thomasville, Georgia. You can follow The Bookshelf’s daily happenings on Instagram at @bookshelftville, and all the books from today’s episode can be purchased online through our store website: bookshelfthomasville.com A full transcript of today’s episode can be found at:
Special thanks to Studio D Podcast Production for production of From the Front Porch and for our theme music, which sets the perfect warm and friendly tone for our Thursday conversations.
Our Executive Producers of today’s episode are…
Cammy Tidwell, Chantalle Carl, Kate O'Connell, Kristin May, Linda Lee Drozt, Martha, Stacy Laue, Chanta Combs, Stephanie Dean, Ashley Ferrell
Executive Producers (Read Their Own Names): Nicole Marsee, Wendi Jenkins, Laurie Johnson, Susan Hulings
Annie Jones: If you’d like to support From the Front Porch, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts. Your input helps us make the show even better and reach new listeners. All you have to do is open up the Podcast App on your phone, look for From the Front Porch, scroll down until you see ‘Write a Review’ and tell us what you think. Or, if you’re so inclined, support us over on Patreon, where we have 3 levels of support - Front Porch Friends, Book Club Companions, and Bookshelf Benefactors. Each level has an amazing number of benefits like bonus content, access to live events, discounts, and giveaways. Just go to: patreon.com/fromthefrontporch We’re so grateful for you, and we look forward to meeting back here next week.